“I travel the world to tell the Jewish story. I stand in Vienna, in Berlin, in Krakow, in Budapest, in Prague, in Toledo, in Lisbon, in Marrakech – and use almost only the past tense (in all its many beautiful possibilities, past, past perfect – pluperfect to some – past continuous, but always past). Last week, as the massacres were happening, and before I got home, I stood in Ioannina with Allegra, in Veria with Eva, in Saloniki with Hella. and we talked in the past tense almost all of the time; and we wept when I recounted the story of Yehudah Poliker’s return to his father’s home town, Saloniki, and when I recited the names of the children killed in Be’eri, in Nahal Oz, in Sderot, in the very empty synagogue in Veria.
And I talk of where Jews “once prayed, sang, danced, had a coffee.”
Where Jews (I often use the pronoun ’we’ instead of the proper noun, ‘Jews’) were taken away, rounded up, were shot, separated. from their children.
I sometimes mention how other people stood by and did nothing, refused to believe, were incredulous. and I mention those who helped, stepped forward.
“We were murdered,” I say.
“The world stood by,” I say.
“We were torn from our homes,” I say.
“This was one of the worst
times in the history of humanity,” I say.
Two years ago I wrote these words, just ten days after October 7th, the day my world changed forever. No less.
I returned home to Israel just days before the live hostages were released from Gaza from three weeks of a family visit in the United States – and now what am I going to write? Do I describe the day as one of great Joy? There was great Joy – and there was so much more. The emotions of the day were dense and complex and the word ‘Joy’ is insufficient to capture the moments of release of our brothers returning home. I am still trying to find words to describe the feelings on that extraordinary day. It was Joy. It was pain (the pain of what we have lost, mixed with the pain – possibly – of what we might never become – or have become).
Does this sound confused to you? Very UnIsraeli to you? Does this make you angry/sad/confused? Is it unexpected?
It is not only because we have not yet received the bodies of all our brothers and sisters for burial (and I hope that by the time this is published this last sentence will be untrue). More than anything else I believe it is because the intensity of these past two years and all we have been dealing with, cannot be washed away with a day of Joy. Yes, there were shouts of great celebration, incredible scenes of loved ones being reunited, moments of incredible Jewish Pride, the feelings of relief, of months and months of protest making some difference. And yet, every time I talk about Israel, the Jewish People, our lives in the different places we have lived in (I write this in Tangier, in Northern Morocco, in a beautiful room in the beautiful Darnour, after a day with my group of seventeen on a Moroccan Jewish Journey), the tears flow, the words get stuck in my throat. I talk of Tangier, Tetuán, Chefchaouen, Casablanca, Fes, Meknes, Rabat, Essaouira, Marrakech – but I am actually talking about Nir Oz, Be’eri, Kfar Aza, Sderot and the Nova Festival.
Will days of pure Joy ever be our reality again? Were there ever days of pure Joy before October 7th?
I try to remember that world, that pre-October 7th world, but my mind’s playlist goes almost automatically to Acheinu and to Habayta, and I see the rabbi and the cantor singing in Central Synagogue in NYC on October 21st, 2023 with pictures of hostages flashing across the screen – and I feel the physical constriction when the photo of Ariel Bibas flashes across the screen, and I see the Roman Theater in Caesarea filled with musicians and singers urging us to come Habayta.
When will the Ode to Joy be mine? ●
JULIAN RESNICK IN PERSON THIS NOVEMBER
The Cape Jewish Chronicle is thrilled to bring you Julian Resnick in person! He’ll soon be visiting Cape Town from Israel, and has kindly offered us a public talk. His topic: “Thinking Back; Thinking Forward: my thoughts as I approach the 50th anniversary of the most important decision I ever made, to make Aliyah to Israel”.
Date and time: Tuesday 11 November 2025, 18h30. Send an email to editor@ctjc.co.za to let us know if you’d like to join in.
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