By SIMONE SULCAS
An objectively minor incident occurred in the first week following my admission as an attorney. Subjectively, it was profound. I was brimming with the enthusiasm of a young green lawyer – low on experience, but high on passion for the law. The meeting room was brimming with advocates, attorneys and a couple of unhappy looking clients. My quick scan of the room underscored two things: first, that I was the only woman in the room; and second, that I had noticed it. The consultation progressed slowly, with the clients’ frustration growing in direct proportion to the billable hours being clocked. Relief arrived on a tray: teacups, biscuits, and the sudden expectation that I would serve them. Almost in unison, every face in the room turned to me. After a few awkward seconds, senior counsel ‘rescued’ me by jovially taking charge of the teacups. I replayed the moment afterwards, wondering why I had not stood up for myself, and frustrated that the incident had been enough to silence me when I had a good strategic point to make.
A few days later, by chance, I bumped into my ‘rescuer’ at court. We discussed the case, and I took the opportunity to make the point I had not raised during the consultation. He said it was important and would add it to the papers. Then he asked whether I had failed to raise it at the time because I had felt disempowered by being cast, however silently, into the stereotype of a woman expected to serve rather than speak. I sheepishly nodded. He looked at me and said, “Next time, remember that your seat at the table is not ornamental. You earned it as well. Use it.”
On the 9th of this month, we celebrate Women’s Day. I always pause on this day to remember that room, that table, and the moment I allowed a stereotype to quieten me. It took time to realise that I was not bound by the role others had silently assigned to me. I could define for myself the kind of woman I chose to be: one who speaks, contributes, leads, and models that courage for the young men she raised. Because, ultimately, equality is not about being offered a seat at the table. It is about using it. And as representative of the Cape South African Jewish Board of Deputies, I am trying to use mine in service of our community: to advocate with courage, to confront Jew-hate, and to support a community that is strong, proud and connected.
