Cape Town has won its fair share of international accolades – for its extraordinary natural beauty, its lifestyle and, most recently, Time Out magazine’s Best City in the World award. But there’s one title we may struggle to claim: the world’s friendliest city.
That thought occurred to me at Limmud in August, when I found myself chatting to two women I had never met before. Both had recently semigrated from Johannesburg and both spoke enthusiastically about their new lives in Cape Town. There was, however, one disappointment they shared: they had found the local Jewish community surprisingly unfriendly.
Their comments stayed with me, perhaps because I understood exactly what they meant.
I grew up in Cape Town and lived here as a young adult before moving to Johannesburg, where I discovered how easy it was to meet people and make friends. After a year or two, I also realised how much I had changed. In Cape Town, I had seldom invited people into my home for a meal – it was far easier to suggest a walk on the Sea Point Promenade.
Johannesburg was different. People seemed to make a greater effort to build relationships with new friends. Perhaps, without Cape Town’s beaches, mountains and endless outdoor attractions, people invest more deliberately in one another. Whatever the reason, friendships seemed to require – and receive – more effort.
This matters when we consider the demographic realities of Jewish Cape Town. As the Chronicle reported in last month’s bumper edition, our Jewish population numbers continue to decline, although more slowly than previously thought.
If attracting people from elsewhere is one way of strengthening and growing our community, simply saying “Welcome to Cape Town” is not enough. We need to help newcomers feel that they belong – inviting them in, including them and extending genuine friendship. In doing so, we make Jewish Cape Town an even more appealing place in which to put down roots.
It is, after all, something deeply rooted in Jewish values. The Torah repeatedly instructs us to love the stranger and to treat the stranger as one of our own.
So, the next time you’re at a communal or social event, look around. If there’s someone nearby you don’t recognise, introduce yourself. Start a conversation. Invite them for coffee – or perhaps even for a Shabbat meal.
You never know – the stranger sitting beside you today could become a close friend tomorrow.
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