Nelson Mandela MemoHonoured Rabbanim of Cape Town, distinguished guests and community leaders, friends all.
It some is truly personal an honour memories to be of asked our dear to relate late Madiba as the country and the world mourn his passing.
I believe that the way we should deal with any bereavement is by striving to call to mind memories of happy occasions and good times, that bring a smile to the lips and comfort to the heart as a way of healing the raw pain of loss of a dear one. And indeed this week, every South African is feeling the terrible loss of a man who was a father figure to us all. Indeed, there is a Talmudic adage that asks us: “Why do we celebrate the embarkation of a ship leaving port for the dangers of an unknown voyage when what we should be doing is celebrating the return of one which has completed its life’s trials and has arrived at the secure harbour of journey’s end?” In fact since the announcement of Madiba’s death four days ago, we have watched many of our fellow citizens of different cultures do exactly that.
So will you allow me to spend a few minutes describing some of the occasions when Madiba celebrated his warm relationship with the Jewish community and particularly the ‘special friendship’ he enjoyed with my late husband , Chief Rabbi Harris z’l?
But first let me make an apology to you. I am not really the one who was the friend! Although I participated in many meetings and functions and was always warmly welcomed by Madiba, my connection was a vicarious one — the privileged onlooker, observer, facilitator and apporteur. The real relationship was between these two men who seemed to understand instinctively one another’s aims and goals,problems and challenges, hopes and dreams. Perhaps it is that those in leadership positions, however great or small, need the support of those who can truly identify with their position. And so the friendship grew…
So how did Madiba first get involved with South African Jews? Some connections dated from his university days at Wits; some were connections who put him on the ladder to a career in the law like Attorney Lazar Sidelsky; some were fellow struggle activists like Harold Wolpe and Denis Goldberg, Joe Slovo and Albie Sachs; and some were lawyers who represented him in various legal encounters like Isie Maisels, Sydney Kentridge and Arthur Chaskalson. Some were fighters for his cause in the official arena like Helen Suzman; and some were friends like Irene and Clive Mennell. We first met him in the year after his release from prison at various social encounters involving some of the people I have mentioned — a reception at Wits Law School when he and Mr Sidelsky met again after so many years; a visit to him in hospital in Johannesburg with Helen and Isie; a musical evening at the Mennells’ home. And on every occasion, we were struck by his enormous warmth and lack of rancour.
I do not know, nor do I think we shall ever know, whether Madiba was aware that his Jewish friends were not part of the mainstream Jewish community — indeed some were persona non grata — but he had already made up his mind that when a chance came to build up a new nation, he had to grasp every opportunity to include all faith and ethnic communities. And his ally as far as the Jewish community was concerned was Cyril Harris, who was equally determined to bring his flock — even the wavering ones — into the new South Africa.
And so they worked together through the difficult days of CODESA, when Madiba fought with everything in his power for the compromises in which he believed. And after his assumption of office, in a host of organisations including the National Religious Leaders Forum, the SABC, and the Gun Free Campaign to mention but a few. Who will ever forget Madiba’s visit to Marais Road Shul looking out over Robben Island presided over by Mervyn Smith; his insistence on attending the memorial service for the slain Yitzchak Rabin; his State Visit to Israel when he remarked to Shimon Peres,”I feel at home here — here is my Rabbi!”; his attendance at the UOS’ dinner to celebrate our tenth year in South Africa when he took the trouble to charm all our family.
When Madiba learned about the success of Afrika Tikkun, which first saw the light of day in 1993 as the brainchild of Rabbi Cyril and Bertie Lubner, Madiba agreed with alacrity to become its Patron in Chief and remained so to by thehelicopter day of his to death. our seed I well project remember in Rietfontein, his visit when the chopper landed on the wrong part of the farm and he happily walked a couple of kilometres to greet the farm workers in the fields and the children in the farm school, leaning on my shoulder to steady himself on the rough ground.
Our favourite family story occurred on Rosh Hashana 1994, Madiba’s first year in office. He picked up his own phone as he often did to call and wish us a Happy New Year. Our wonderful domestic worker Constance Balintaba took the call and not knowing who the caller was berated him soundly for ringing on Yomtov. Quite unfazed, he asked her where she came from which happened to be the next village to Qunu! So he told her he was her Landsleit and they remained friends after that for many a long year.
And finally I must tell you briefly about the wedding. I am sure you recall that Madiba’s wedding to Graca Machel was a ‘secret’ and was to be held on his 80th birthday, which was a Shabbat. He had personally telephoned Rabbi Cyril to ask him to come with the Moslem, Hindu and Catholic clergy to be in attendance at a United Christian ceremony, But Cyril explained that his duty to the Almighty was just that bit greater than his duty to the President, and Madiba worked out a compromise.
On Erev Shabbat at 4pm when the wedding was still under wraps, we were invited to his house to meet Madiba and Graca alone. Cyril explained to them the concept of the Chuppah in Jewish marriage and then he blessed them — I was the only other person in the room. Then a l’chayim was served and they waved us off to Shul around the corner just in time for Shabbat. Not a word could we say to anyone till the next day!
Dear friends, I was indeed blessed with the privilege of observing this special friendship, and from it I learned that every person who aspires to leadership requires a combination of dignity and humanity which must be as natural to him as night follows day. That was the connection between them.
So let us temper our sadness at Madiba’s passing with our admiration and gratitude for his life of devotion to humankind.
Go well and in peace Madiba, to the place which is assured for you in the World to Come — and I am sure that your Rabbi is waiting there to welcome you.
