Cape Town therapist Debby Silver and fellow therapist Glenda Mark ran sessions called ‘Feeling Fragile’ for members of our community in the immediate period after the October 7th attacks.
Debby shared with the Cape Jewish Chronicle an article that first appeared in the Jewish Telegraphic Agency about a disturbing trend identified in the American therapy industry.
We have summarised the article below:
In the months since the October 7 Hamas attacks, many Jews around the world have faced not only grief and fear, but also a painful lack of support from people they expected to lean on. This has sometimes included therapists.
Two American psychologists, Miri Bar-Halpern and Jaclyn Wolfman, who wrote an academic article articulating their views. call this ‘traumatic invalidation’ – when someone’s suffering is ignored, downplayed, or even denied by the very people meant to help.
Instead of compassion, some Jewish clients have been met with silence, blame, or the suggestion that their distress is just ‘political’. Some therapists have even avoided talking about antisemitism altogether. One client in the USA, afraid of rising hostility, didn’t dare mention her fears about attending synagogue because she felt her therapist wouldn’t understand.
Outside the therapy room, the rejection has been just as painful. Jews have sometimes been excluded from groups, confronted with hostile slogans, or criticised simply for mourning Israeli victims. In the USA, one young woman was bombarded with hateful messages from college friends after expressing solidarity with her community.
The consequences of this dismissal are serious. Feeling that you are unseen or that you have been dehumanised can deepen trauma, trigger depression and anxiety, and push people into isolation. As Wolfman explains, “It’s not disagreement. Traumatic invalidation sends the message that the other person is unacceptable as a human being.”
Bar-Halpern and Wolfman are urging the mental health field to do better. Their message is simple: Jewish clients are not asking for special treatment – just the same care anyone deserves when they say, “I’m hurt, I’m scared, I need support.”
Healing, the psychologists stress, is still possible. It begins with validation – not necessarily agreement but listening and acknowledging pain as real. They also encourage building supportive communities that offer understanding when old ones fall away.
As Bar-Halpern puts it, “If we look at everything as a hierarchy of pain, we stop seeing people as people. Then we’re losing our humanity – especially as therapists.” ●
Johannesburg-based psychologist, Dr Martin Strous, the Chairperson of the South African Jewish Mental Health and Allied Practitioners Association of South Africa (SAJMAP), says that both internationally and in South Africa, there is a need for therapists to be culturally sensitive when dealing with people from diverse backgrounds. SAJMAP was established to address cultural insensitivity in professional organisations, particularly instances of anti-Jewish or biased, anti-Israel sentiment.
- For the current edition of the Cape Jewish Chronicle, click here.
- Subscribe to the Cape Jewish Chronicle: R450/year, or R38/month via debit order. Simply email us at subscriptions@ctjc.co.za and click here for payment info.
- The Cape Jewish Chronicle reaches over 6 000 readers monthly across print and digital platforms.
- To book advertising space or discuss a custom package contact Adéle Gradner Mobile: 083 321 5222 | Office: 021 464 6736 | Email advertising@ctjc.co.za
