By SIMONE SULCAS, Chairperson Cape SAJBD
This Rosh Hashanah again feels different in our house.For the past four years, my younger son has been studying in the United States, so every Rosh Hashanah came with a little ache. There was always an empty chair at the table. This year, he is home.
But family life refuses to stand still. Just as one child returns, another prepares to leave. My older son will shortly be heading to Europe to begin his master’s degree. So once again, there will be an empty chair at our Rosh Hashanah table. Different son; same feeling.
Naturally, my mind went straight to the usual questions. Will he settle in? Will he thrive? And, very importantly, will he find his people? And then something notable happened.
One email. That was all it took.
He contacted the local shul in the city where he will be studying. Within a day, he had been connected to a Jewish student group. There were invitations for a Shabbaton, plans for Rosh Hashanah and a WhatsApp group. Before he has even boarded the plane, people he had never met had already made space for him.
I was amazed. My son was not.
To him, this was not extraordinary. It was exactly what he expected would happen. Of course, the local Jewish community would help. Of course, there would be students to connect with. Of course, someone would make sure he had somewhere to go for Shabbat and Rosh Hashanah. What felt remarkable to me felt completely normal to him. That, I think, says something deeply beautiful about Jewish belonging.
We often speak about Jewish identity in big terms: history, continuity, responsibility and shared destiny. All of that is true. But sometimes Jewish identity is much simpler. It is a quick reply to an email. A name passed on. A WhatsApp group. A seat at a Shabbat table. A practical, no-fuss welcome that says: you are one of us, so come in.
In a world that can feel fractured and uncertain, there is something comforting about that instinct. Jews may disagree about almost everything, usually with impressive enthusiasm, but here remains a thread that binds us. We look out for one another. We recognise one another. We make room. Long before WhatsApp groups, Jewish communities understood hospitality. Someone far from home could arrive in an unfamiliar place and find a shul, a meal, a familiar calendar. Technology has changed the way we find one another. The impulse remains the same.
This Rosh Hashanah, our family will be in different places and time zones. There will be messages, photos, video calls, and probably a moment when I look at the empty chair and wish that my son was sitting in it. But there will also be appreciation: that a community I have never visited is already looking out for him; that strangers have welcomed him; that he will hear familiar songs thousands of kilometres from Cape Town; and that he will begin building his own Jewish memories.
As parents, we worry about whether our children will feel at home when they are far away. This experience reminded me that Jewish children carry a remarkable gift with them wherever they go. They carry belonging.
The fact that I find that extraordinary is one thing. The fact that my son finds it completely ordinary may be the most reassuring thing of all. Our children may travel far from home. But wherever they go, our people have a remarkable way of helping them find it again.
One people. One heart. Many homes.
Shanah Tovah.
Cape SA Jewish Board of Deputies | http://www.capesajbd.org | Instagram | Facebook
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