Growing up, Rosh Hashanah meant the warmth of family. Aunts and uncles, cousins and the occasional friend would gather around the table for a meal that always felt special – my mother’s brisket and tzimmes, followed by the heavenly pareve chocolate pudding reserved for special occasions.
Shul on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur felt different. There was a certain heaviness to those days. We understood that this was a time for introspection – for reflecting on the year that had passed, acknowledging our sins and asking forgiveness.
As a young child, I remember wondering what sins my parents could possibly have committed. They were law-abiding, family-focused and honest. What could they have done that required forgiveness?
Looking back, I realise there was something missing from my childhood understanding of the High Holy Days. I thought largely in terms of wrongdoing: What have I done wrong, and how can I be forgiven? What I have come to understand is that this is only part of the reckoning. We should also be asking: What good have I done – and what more could I do?
Repentance matters, but so does positive action. Providing for those in need, treating others with dignity and kindness, and making ethical choices in our everyday lives are also expressions of our values. How we choose to live should matter at least as much as asking forgiveness for the times we have fallen short.
This comes to mind when I encounter people who make much of their religious observance. Someone may be scrupulous about never eating treif, for example, and that is entirely their choice. But religious observance surely carries greater meaning when it is accompanied by decency, compassion and respect for others.
Recent events have provided painful reminders of the opportunities we have to put those values into practice. The devastating fire in a Sea Point apartment block and the disturbing aggression directed towards foreigners living in South Africa have confronted us with people facing circumstances largely beyond their control. They have also given us opportunities to respond with humanity – something we have seen from many within Cape Town’s Jewish community.
Perhaps that is one of the challenges worth carrying into the High Holy Days this year. Alongside asking where we have gone wrong, we can ask where we have done right – and where we could do more.
Because living ethically is not simply about avoiding wrongdoing. It is also about noticing the people around us, recognising when they need us and choosing, wherever we can, to make their lives a little better.
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