Why perfection is found in the imperfect

It’s my ten-year anniversary this month. And while there have been a fair share of ‘lively discussions’ (both of us) and perhaps the odd throwing of utensils (me), I can comfortably and very thankfully say that the past ten years have been wonderful.

When I look back on the last decade, it’s been an extended case of flying by the seat of our pants through some pretty hectic turbulence and yet thoroughly enjoying the ride.

Our first date was awful.
I mean, let’s-agree-to-never-do-this-again awful. And yet something made us try again. Because even the worst date together was better than anything else this world had to offer, and BH, we both knew it.

We got engaged on the spur of the moment during a power failure (thanks, Eskom) six weeks later. Hardly romantic, hardly well thought-out, no real engagement ring (we still have the Titanium thumb ring he gave me). And yet, even when we recreated the proposal so that I could get my actual ring, him on bended knee, complete with dinner and dancing and diamonds, it wasn’t as perfect as that imperfect ‘first’ proposal.

When thinking about the week of our wedding, I recall some terror-filled and stressful issues. Like calling the venue the night before the wedding to ask a question and being told that no wedding was booked for the next morning. Like realising at the last minute that centerpieces for the tables had been completely overlooked. Like waiting at the venue for the hiring company to arrive and having them pitch three hours later than expected.

But then, a beautiful wedding, with family and friends and a really moving ceremony.
What followed were ten years of life. Proper, messy, lovely life.
Which brings us to now. It’s our ten-year wedding anniversary this month.

I have planned this anniversary, I’m only a little embarrassed to say, for about ten years now. It’s my chance to ‘redo’ my wedding day with the benefit of 10 years of experience, all mistakes rectified, every glitch smoothed out.
The actual wedding-day anniversary falls on Shabbat, which was perfect as we could celebrate with our shul (who married us) and our family and friends and then go to the wedding venue on the Sunday morning for brunch and a bit of a reminisce and take some photos of our family ten years later. Finally, some perfectly planned perfection!

Well, how does the saying go? Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht?
It turns out my Rabbi and Rebbitzin will be travelling for a simcha overseas during that time and my husband has to work both days of the weekend. Oy.

And yet, in the general theme of my marriage so far, this latest hurdle fits perfectly. And perhaps it’s in all this imperfectness that perfection is found.

Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht… Well, I do plan my life to a painful degree, and while much of what I plan falls into place, a fair share doesn’t. I’m starting to think that Gd does quite a bit of laughing at my expense and yet perhaps, all this time, he hasn’t been laughing at me, but with me.

From all of us at the CJC, Chag Chanukah Sameach and Happy Holidays.


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