We’ve all heard about whether one views life as a glass half full or half empty. A similar concept is the ‘Dot Comma’ idea. The ‘Dot Comma’ theme shaped the talk of an Israeli woman, Iris Haim, who visited Cape Town in August to share her experience of October 7th and the impact on her family. Iris became a household name in Israel after starting to talk in the media about these experiences and her interpretation of the crisis facing so many families in the country.
During an event organised by the SAFZF CC, Iris told the story of her son Yotam, who was taken hostage by Hamas during the attack on Kibbutz Kfar Aza, located near the border with Gaza. Aged just 28, Yotam had endured several difficulties during his life, relating to both his physical and mental health – but these experiences turned him into a fighter. And it was this fighting spirit that led Iris to believe that her son would survive his captivity.
Iris was correct: after not knowing what had happened to Yotam for some time, the Haim family eventually got the news that Yotam was alive, one of the many people taken hostage during the Hamas attacks. And that fighting spirit led Yotam to take a heroic decision: to join a few other hostages in a brave escape from captivity.
The group of hostages succeeded in escaping, and remained out of captivity but still in Gaza for three days. But, unfortunately, tragedy ensued when some IDF soldiers came across the escaped hostages and, thinking they were terrorists, shot them. All three were killed on
15 December last year.
How does one respond to such a tragedy? For many people, an event of this sort is life-changing in a negative way. Many would feel that life is no longer worth living. But, throughout the many days of wondering about Yotam, Iris Haim looked at things positively, highlighting the hope she felt during these dark days.
In fact, Iris embodied the Dot Comma concept that she first learned about from Yotam, who displayed a tattoo of a dot (fullstop) and a comma prominently on his arm. The dot represents the view that life must end because it is too difficult to carry on, while the comma suggests that a difficulty may be nothing other than a time to pause before resuming life. Rather than seeing Yotam’s tragic death as a burden that makes life too hard to continue, Iris feels that Yotam remains with her and is alive, though not physically with us on earth. During an important therapy session soon after Yotam’s death, Iris imagined him saying, “I would rather die as a free person than live in the hell of captivity.” And that type of imagined conversation with him keeps Yotam alive for Iris.
Closing her emotional and poignant talk, Iris explained, “We could put a dot after October 7th, but I choose the comma. Yotam is always with us. We must uphold his legacy, and see others through their strengths, rather than through negative eyes.”

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